There was a beer party going on in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain. These two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.All of a sudden an old man's face appeared on the passenger side and tapped lightly on the window. The passenger screamed out, "eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's anold guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!?)"This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???"The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!""Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies.So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells, "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror.Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "Dude! what doyou think of that?"The driver says, "Man, I don't know? How could that be? I'm going pretty fast?"Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is the old man again. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaauggggg, there he is again!” the passenger yells.""Well see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?""Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window then yells, "STEP ON IT!"They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden, again there is MORE knocking!"Oh my God! HE'S BACK!" He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of this mud?"
One day a little girl came running into her house wrote:
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''
In prison you spend a majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you're just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own toilet.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you can't even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.
In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are sadistic wardens.
At work, we have managers.
so why go to work if prison is more nice...hahaha lolz
Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly."Why are you crying?" Bob asked."I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill."So? Are you afraid?""No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"
A duck walks into a bar and asks:"Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "
No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "
Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?
Friday, 26 June 2009
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Logieboi is willin...
101 Ways To Annoy People
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Why Studying Is Better Than Sex
10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.
1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."
5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <
7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
12. Sniffle incessantly.
13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
14. Name your dog "Dog."
15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".
19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
21. Practice making fax and modem noises.
22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."
26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."
27. Wear a special hip holster for yourremote control.
28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.
32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
34. Drum on every available surface.
35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.
38. Sew anti-theft detector stripsinto peoples backpacks.
39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
41. Set alarms for random times.
42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
45. Honk and wave to strangers.
46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.
47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
49. Wear your pants backwards.
50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
53. only type in lowercase.
54. dont use any punctuation either
55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.
57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories.
61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now."
62. Light road flares on a birthday cake.
63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador."
66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One."
69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
73. Drive half a block.
74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
75. Ask people what gender they are.
76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back.
77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl.
78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet.
81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
86. Wear a LOT of cologne.
87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing."
88. Sing along at the opera.
89. Mow your lawn with scissors.
90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!"
91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend."
92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."
94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture."
95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
96. Never make eye contact.
97. Never break eye contact.
98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results.
100. Make appointments for the 31st of September.
101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
Why Studying Is Better Than Sex
10. You can usually find someone to do it with.
9. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
8. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
7. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
6. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
5. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
4. You can do it, eat and watch T.V. all at the same time.
3. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
2. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
1. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help.
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Logieboi doesnt do much...
Yeap friendship...
Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
CANNIBALS
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her.""No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either.""Why not?" asked the son."Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
Friendship between women: A woman doesn’t come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
Friendship between men: A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
CANNIBALS
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her.""No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either.""Why not?" asked the son."Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."
Seriously many weird pics...
Logieboi wont and will not do sumthin...
THE DOG NAMED SEX
Everybody I know usually calls their dog Rover or Spot.
I called mine Sex.
Now Sex has been very embarrassing to me.
When I went to City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk I'd like a license for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!
Then I said, "She is a dog!!"
He said he didnt care what she looked like.
I said, "You don't understand, I had Sex since I was 9 years old."
He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."
When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.
He told me to wait until after the wedding was over.
I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life, and my life revolves around Sex."
He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church.
I told him everybody would like having Sex at the wedding.
The next day we were married at the Justice of Peace.
My family was barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me.
When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.
He said every room in the motel is a place for sex.
I said, "You don't understand! Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, Sex ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around, and I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest.
He said that I should have sold my own tickets.
"You don't understand," I said.
"I hoped to have Sex on TV!"
He called me a 'show off'!
When my wife and I split, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married, but Sex left me after I was married."
The judge said, "Me too!!"
Last night, Sex ran off again, and I spent hours looking all over for her.
A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.
I said "I'm looking for Sex."
My case comes up next Thursday.
Well, now I have been thrown in jail, been divorced, and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.
Why, just the other day when I went for my first session with my shrink, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all of my life, but now it has left me forever, I couldn't live any longer, so lonely!"
And the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand sex isn't a man's best friend, so get your self a dog."
Friday, 12 June 2009
Logieboi wont save your life...
Weeeeee!More pics! :D
Abu sangat bijak
Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah
seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut :
"Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?"
> Lalu Abu menjawab, "Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4,
kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya
seharusnya
berada di tempat yang sama juga!".
> Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua.
Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan
tersebut kepada
pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan
jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan
berkelakuan
baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan
pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.
> Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
> Abu: 9
> Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
> Abu: 36
>
> Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2
UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua
memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, "Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya
berada di darjah 6", Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, "Saya ada
soalan saya
sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?". Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
> Abu: (berfikir) Kaki
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar
saya?
> Abu: Saku
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf "K" akhir dengan "A",
ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis
keputihan?
> Abu: Kelapa
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna "pink", bila keluar
lembik dan melekit?
> Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, siAbu terus
menjawab.
> Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita
secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?
> Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat
hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.
> Abu: Bersalaman
>
> Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk
siapakah saya, okay?
> Abu: Baik Cikgu
>
> Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya
untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.
> Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.
> Abu: Khemah
>
> Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak
teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dulu.
> Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas
Nescafe 3in1.
> Abu: Cincin perkahwinan
>
> Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan
meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak
hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.
Seorang guru, Cikgu Murni (Umur: 22) menghadapi masalah dengan salah
seorang muridnya (Abu). Lalu guru ini bertanya kepada murid tersebut :
"Apa sebenarnya masalah awak, Abu?"
> Lalu Abu menjawab, "Saya terlalu cerdik untuk berada di darjah 4,
kakak saya menduduki UPSR dan saya lebih cerdik dari dia, maka saya
seharusnya
berada di tempat yang sama juga!".
> Cikgu Murni dah tak tertahan. Dia bawa Abu ke pejabat pengetua.
Sementara Abu menunggu di ruang tamu, Cikgu Murni terangkan keadaan
tersebut kepada
pengetua. Pengetua mengatakan yang dia akan berikan ujian kepada Abu dan
jika Abu gagal menjawab, maka Abu harus kekal di darjah 3 dan
berkelakuan
baik. Abu dibawa masuk ke pejabat Pengetua dan Cikgu Murni terangkan
pada Abu dan Abu bersetuju untuk ambil ujian yang akan diberikan.
> Pengetua: Apa 3 x 3?
> Abu: 9
> Pengetua: Apa 6 x 6?
> Abu: 36
>
> Pengetua terus bertanyakan soalan2 berdasarkan tahap pencapaian murid2
UPSR dan si Abu mampu menjawab tiap soalan yang diberikan. Lalu pengetua
memandang Cikgu Murni dan berkata, "Saya rasa murid ini sepatutnya
berada di darjah 6", Lalu Cikgu Murni berkata pada pengetua, "Saya ada
soalan saya
sendiri, boleh tak saya ajukan pada Abu?". Pengetua dan Abu bersetuju.
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang lembu ada 4 di badan, tapi saya cuma ada dua?
> Abu: (berfikir) Kaki
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang ada di dalam seluar kamu tapi tidak pada seluar
saya?
> Abu: Saku
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang bermula dengan huruf "K" akhir dengan "A",
ianya berbulu, berbentuk oval, nyaman dan mengandungi lapisan nipis
keputihan?
> Abu: Kelapa
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apakah yang masuk keras dan berwarna "pink", bila keluar
lembik dan melekit?
> Mata Pengetua terbuka luas dan sebelum sempat dia menahan, siAbu terus
menjawab.
> Abu: Gula-gula getah (Bubblegum)
>
> Cikgu Murni: Apa yang mereka lakukan, lelaki secara berdiri, wanita
secara duduk dan anjing secara tiga kaki?
> Mata Pengetua sekali lagi terbuka sangat2 luas dan sebelum dia sempat
hendak menahan si Abu terus menjawab.
> Abu: Bersalaman
>
> Cikgu Murni: Baik, sekarang saya akan ajukan soalan berbentuk
siapakah saya, okay?
> Abu: Baik Cikgu
>
> Cikgu Murni: Awak memasukkan batang kedalam saya. Awak ikat saya
untuk saya berdiri. Saya kebasahan sebelum awak.
> Pengetua kelihatan resah dengan soalan yang diajukan oleh Cikgu Murni.
> Abu: Khemah
>
> Cikgu Murni: Jari memasuki saya. Awak menggesel-gesel saya bila awak
teringatkan saya. Lelaki idaman akan mendapat saya dulu.
> Pengetua semakin resah dan tidak selesa. Lantas terus meneguk segelas
Nescafe 3in1.
> Abu: Cincin perkahwinan
>
> Cikgu Murni: Saya ada bermacam-macam saiz. Bila saya sakit saya akan
meleleh. Bila saya keluar, banyak tisu yang akan digunakan. Bila awak
hembuskan saya, akan berasa lega.
Sunday, 7 June 2009
Logieboi can hear silence...
Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
1. You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
2. It's best to wear protective head-gear when going into unfamiliar territory.
3. You can do it with no hands, but it's best not to try it until you have a lot of experience.
5. You can do it by yourself, but it's usually not as much fun.
7. It's best to have a soft place to land.
9. If you're with someone who is having trouble keeping up, it's usually best to slow down and wait for them.
11. Once you learn, you never forget how.
13. If you get a flat, try pumping it back up.
14. Remember to signal before you change direction.
15. Make sure that you've got a firm grip.
16. Sometimes it's nice to have a cushy seat.
17. Once you're over the top, you can just coast the rest of the way.
18. That's why some of them are called Mountin' Bikes.
Logieboi can mix oil and vinegar...Permanently...
Blog's kinda boring without pics....so Theres some!!!Mwahahahahahaaaa!
Who is the Best???
A marine general, an army general and a navy admiral were discussing who had the toughest men. The army general says, "Alright,I'll prove the army has the toughest men in the country. Private, get over here!"The private reports as ordered, "Yes sir?"The general says, "See that man over there? Kill him!"Without hesitating, the private kills the man.The general says, "See? That man has balls!"The marine general says, That's nothing. Private, get over here!"The marine private reports, "Yes, sir?"The marine general says, "See that man over there? Kill him and then kill yourself."Without blinking, the marine private pulls out his M-16 and blows away the guy, then turns the rifle on himself and unloads several rounds.The marine general says, "See? Now that man has balls!"The admiral says, "That's nothing."He calls to a seaman high up on a tower, "Hey, seaman, jump off that tower!"The seaman answers, "Excuse me, sir?"The admiral repeats, "JUMP OFF THAT TOWER!"The seaman replies, "Fuck you, sir!"The admiral says, "See? That man has balls and he's got brains too!"
Saturday, 6 June 2009
Logieboi does not sleep he waits...
10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player
1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"
BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!
AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top
1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.
The Seven Most Important Men in a Woman's Life
The Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
The Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
The Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
The Hairdresser - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
The Interior Designer - who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"
The Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose interest!"
The Primal Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"
BEFORE MARRIAGE:
Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!
Wife - Do you want me to leave?
Husband - No! Don't even think about it.
Wife - Do you love me?
Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!
Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?
Husband - No! Why are you even asking?
Wife - Will you kiss me?
Husband - Every chance I get!
Wife - Will you hit me?
Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!
Wife - Can I trust you?
Husband - Yes.
Wife - Darling!
AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top
Logieboi can sleep while drowning...
You know you are Bruneian when...
1.You don't wear Versace because only the older Datins & high society people wear it & because you have the suspicious feeling that it was made in Brunei.
2.You travel all the way to Miri just to get bargain priced goods but spend twice as much there as you would back at the shops in Brunei.
3.Your family has at least 4 cars, almost always including a large car like a 'Land Cruiser' (for stocking up at Miri).
4.You don't drive second hand cars.
5.You don't drive a car that is less than $40,000 because it is just unheard of.
6.You complain like hell when the food is slow at a restaurant, but when you are at a 'pasar malam' you can wait hours for your gourmet satay from that Mamak stall.
7.McDonalds is halal & you can order a 'Bubur McD'
8.You don't take public transport because it's for workers.
9.You are used to the wolf whistles of deprived men when you walk past them - even when you're with your parents.
10.You are used to seeing large crowds of Indian, Indon, Filo & Bangladeshi workers hang out at shopping malls, especially on Sundays.
11.You have called someone a 'poklen' or have been called one before.
12.You buy mee-goreng by the boxes.
13.You are obsessed with imported food from England.
14.You fly to Singapore to go to the hospital because you don't trust RIPAS.
15.You go to Singapore to have a good time.
16.You go on holiday ANYWHERE with 2 empty luggage's and come back with at least 10 full ones.
17.You go to Singapore or Malaysia at least 4 times a year.
18.You own an enormous private collection of pirated VCD's, DVD's & CD's.
19.You have a few specialised number plates for your cars.
20.You go to the pasar malam with tatty clothes & slippers but a LV/Gucci bag.
21.You actually believe the roads have no speed limits.
22.When singing the national anthem, you mumble parts of it because you can't quite
remember/understand what some of the words are.
23.You Believe in Bomohs & pontianaks (vampires?).
24.You have Astro satellite.
25.You don't feel bad living in your mansion across from a kampong or even in a kampong itself.
26.You change your mobile whenever a new one comes out.
27.You know that the beach is the place to go to conduct illegal activity such as drinking & fornication although you swear you've never done it yourself.
28.You know all the places that sell illegal alcohol.
29.You must send your kids overseas or else they will have no future.
30.You fly out at least 10 times a year to many different places.
31.At least one member of your family lives in England, Australia or the US.
32.You have the cash to pay for a $100k Car.
33.You complain when something goes up in price even if it is only $0.20 & try to haggle over the price even at a department store.
34.You have to wake up early to go for Sunday breakfast with your family (all 40 of them) & most probably it's Dim-Sum.
35.You know all the swear words in Malay, Tagalog & Chinese.
36.Have bad bahasa melayu even though you have been studying it for your whole life.
37.You buy your monthly groceries on or around the 26th of each month.
38.You avoid supermarkets on or around the 26th or each month.
39.You think a 7 year loan repayment plan is a reasonable way to own a car.
40.You have 5.3 kids.
41.Your younger children go out in their pyjamas (barbie for girls, spiderman for boys) with a bottle of Milo clenched between their teeth.
42.Your younger children wear massive gold chains.
43.You PAWN your children's massive gold chains in order to finance the upcoming Hari Raya.
44.You wear black trousers, a multicoloured blouse and a tudong everywhere. Younger females, just swop the black pants for jeans.
45.If you are over 40 and female, more often than not, you are overweight and 'phone box shaped'.
46.You think nothing of carrying your new born baby complete with quilted plasticky pastel changing bag, while dangling a LIT cigarette between your lips.(men)
47.You think 5 cars in front of you anywhere on the road is a traffic jam
48.You think $0.03 for an SMS is still expensive!
49.You earn only $500 a month but can still buy a new car somehow and are willing to pay up to 10 years for it for those who do not apply to point #39 & who exceed point #46
50.You complain that a $1 hike in cigarettes is way too much when it still comes up to only $4 max a pack
51.You know you can get away with buying only $2 worth of gas cos your car modifications used up all your loan money from point #56
52.You will pile your 5.3 kids in the car and brave the more than 5 car jam to the Istana for some religious ceremony in order to get $5 per kid.
53.You consider taking out a maximum loan to extend your house (leaving no space for drains on your land) just cos the neighbours are renovating too.
54.You will spend thousands on car modifications but will hang around curbs/ roadsides with friends cos got no money to pay for coffee at Coffezone or Coffeebean.
55.You ride a Harley with a bunch of friends & park in front of Coffeezone/Coffeebean but only order latte or coke & think its still macho.
56.The 26th of each month is the only time you dare to buy more than $2 worth of gas cos you need to go cruising aimlessly around Gadong (a major hang-out place for Bruneians) after grocery shopping.
57.People ask where you're from and the easiest explanation is saying that it's next to Singapore.
58.People are still clueless about where Brunei is and then you mention how the Sultan of Brunei was once the richest man in the world and everyone instantly remembers.
59.You either hang out in Coffee Zone or Coffee Bean or have children that do.
60.Your closet is full of designer gear but all you wear is the same old t-shirt, shorts and 'selipar jepun' that cost $2 from the 'kedai kaling' next door.
61.The typical male wears only Premier League team t-shirts, jeans, baseball caps & slippers as passable casual wear to pick up tudong-ed chicks in.
62.You slow down to 10km/hr whenever a car breaks down is being towedaway / has an accident just to see if you know who the driver is & to get the number of the car to buy 4D later.
63.You take out a business loan to start a business but buy a brand new Lexus immediately (refer to point #36 on cash) with the loan & then start the sloppy business with the remainder of the money.
64.You do not know or have never spoken to 80% of the people you've invited to your wedding and who take the liberty to bring their 5.3 kids
65.4 generations stay in one house & there is 1.5 cars per person in the household who have a driving license
66.You think leaving work at 5:30pm is ridiculously late.
67.You don't bat en eyelid in any yoga class even though the instructor is referring directly from a book.
68.The local newspaper is still readable even though the front page always has some sort of story about illegal immigrants being caught for overstaying or soliciting as in point #31
You 'miss call' instead of calling or sending sms.
69.You always say "kapih ku.. bila terima/keluar gaji/overtime/elaun ah?"
70.You park your car as close as possible to your destination area.
71.You speak Malaysia if you meet Malaysian, speak Indonesia if you meet Indonesian.. and so on.
72.You are asked to go to a "meeting" but actually you will only be "listening".
73.You go to someone's wedding, you give money using an envelope and put your name on it or if you think you don't give enough you use a blank envelope.
74.Indo mee is your staple food and Ayamku is your fastfood.
75.The term 'balik kampung' is almost not applicable.. since you can 'balik kampung' everyday.
76.Motorcyles and bicycles are not your transport, they are your sport. When you see local tv camera around you during the day, then at night you will watch local news... and hoping to see yourself on television.
77.You drive your car on wavy and potholed road.
78.You receive official news faster by mean of "mouth" than by "written".
79.You like electronic products from Japan.
80.If you have the chance to call a radio show and before you are asked to hang-up, you say 'boleh minta putarkan lagu?'
81.You are in BIG debts and refuse to pay the lenders and yet still drive a CLK and live in a mansion.
82.You wear baju kurung with large katoks and maniks all over.
83.You are loud and speak in melandih way.
84.You and the whole family have the same car plate numbers.
85.You spend your $$$$$ on your wedding even though you are broke.
86.You become Akademi Fantasia fanatics.
87.You know most of the people here - "eh si anak si anu eh saudara si blabla".
88.You drive to the shop next door even though the shop is only 100 meters away (except maybe in Kampung Ayer). Every year, since the 80s until last year, you don't want not to miss HM's Birthday Titah (because you are hoping that HM will increase your salary).
89.When you want to get some service from the government agencies, you will find your saudara first.
90.If something goes wrong, you will say that one of the datos, pehins is your relative (or at least they know you).
91.You cannot live without Brudirect's HYS.
92.You give you children super long name.
93.You rush to a new shopping mall just to beat everybody else even though it's just another Hua Ho.
94.You wave your hand while driving to other drivers that you know.
95.You are able to pay (or not) for one or two amahs who are most likely an Indonesian or a Filipino.
96.You are ok to be fat.
97.You are a busy body with other peoples' news, especially the bad ones, and you think your responsibility is to know and to spread it around.
98.Your friends get married on the same day and you don't know who to go to.
99.You like to stare at phones for 24 hours and chat on MSN.
100.You say "Mun paham bisai" (this needs no further explaination) .
101.You have to wear 'cool' attire everywhere, even on holidays.
102.You add "BUI" on each sentence.
103You think exercising, being hyper active, competition are for little kids.
104.You can't type or spell properly properly, example "hw r u? hy my nme s si org brnui"
105.You add "me & you" on your converstations with your girl mates.
106.You listen to Pelangi FM.
107.You think fake Von Dutch products are the best.
108.You are especially racist to Indian workers.
109.You would rather go to shopping malls than hanging out at parks, having a picnic with your friends.
110.You have 'candas' in your house.
111.You read this blogsite because all your friends are reading it and you don't want to be left behind.
112.You rush to get a $99 handphone not caring about the limited features coz you think anything cheap is a bargain.
113.You have two handphones - one for DST and the other for BMobile (for one month and then switch off one or the other).
114.You always try to runding the policemen who caught you speeding.
1.You don't wear Versace because only the older Datins & high society people wear it & because you have the suspicious feeling that it was made in Brunei.
2.You travel all the way to Miri just to get bargain priced goods but spend twice as much there as you would back at the shops in Brunei.
3.Your family has at least 4 cars, almost always including a large car like a 'Land Cruiser' (for stocking up at Miri).
4.You don't drive second hand cars.
5.You don't drive a car that is less than $40,000 because it is just unheard of.
6.You complain like hell when the food is slow at a restaurant, but when you are at a 'pasar malam' you can wait hours for your gourmet satay from that Mamak stall.
7.McDonalds is halal & you can order a 'Bubur McD'
8.You don't take public transport because it's for workers.
9.You are used to the wolf whistles of deprived men when you walk past them - even when you're with your parents.
10.You are used to seeing large crowds of Indian, Indon, Filo & Bangladeshi workers hang out at shopping malls, especially on Sundays.
11.You have called someone a 'poklen' or have been called one before.
12.You buy mee-goreng by the boxes.
13.You are obsessed with imported food from England.
14.You fly to Singapore to go to the hospital because you don't trust RIPAS.
15.You go to Singapore to have a good time.
16.You go on holiday ANYWHERE with 2 empty luggage's and come back with at least 10 full ones.
17.You go to Singapore or Malaysia at least 4 times a year.
18.You own an enormous private collection of pirated VCD's, DVD's & CD's.
19.You have a few specialised number plates for your cars.
20.You go to the pasar malam with tatty clothes & slippers but a LV/Gucci bag.
21.You actually believe the roads have no speed limits.
22.When singing the national anthem, you mumble parts of it because you can't quite
remember/understand what some of the words are.
23.You Believe in Bomohs & pontianaks (vampires?).
24.You have Astro satellite.
25.You don't feel bad living in your mansion across from a kampong or even in a kampong itself.
26.You change your mobile whenever a new one comes out.
27.You know that the beach is the place to go to conduct illegal activity such as drinking & fornication although you swear you've never done it yourself.
28.You know all the places that sell illegal alcohol.
29.You must send your kids overseas or else they will have no future.
30.You fly out at least 10 times a year to many different places.
31.At least one member of your family lives in England, Australia or the US.
32.You have the cash to pay for a $100k Car.
33.You complain when something goes up in price even if it is only $0.20 & try to haggle over the price even at a department store.
34.You have to wake up early to go for Sunday breakfast with your family (all 40 of them) & most probably it's Dim-Sum.
35.You know all the swear words in Malay, Tagalog & Chinese.
36.Have bad bahasa melayu even though you have been studying it for your whole life.
37.You buy your monthly groceries on or around the 26th of each month.
38.You avoid supermarkets on or around the 26th or each month.
39.You think a 7 year loan repayment plan is a reasonable way to own a car.
40.You have 5.3 kids.
41.Your younger children go out in their pyjamas (barbie for girls, spiderman for boys) with a bottle of Milo clenched between their teeth.
42.Your younger children wear massive gold chains.
43.You PAWN your children's massive gold chains in order to finance the upcoming Hari Raya.
44.You wear black trousers, a multicoloured blouse and a tudong everywhere. Younger females, just swop the black pants for jeans.
45.If you are over 40 and female, more often than not, you are overweight and 'phone box shaped'.
46.You think nothing of carrying your new born baby complete with quilted plasticky pastel changing bag, while dangling a LIT cigarette between your lips.(men)
47.You think 5 cars in front of you anywhere on the road is a traffic jam
48.You think $0.03 for an SMS is still expensive!
49.You earn only $500 a month but can still buy a new car somehow and are willing to pay up to 10 years for it for those who do not apply to point #39 & who exceed point #46
50.You complain that a $1 hike in cigarettes is way too much when it still comes up to only $4 max a pack
51.You know you can get away with buying only $2 worth of gas cos your car modifications used up all your loan money from point #56
52.You will pile your 5.3 kids in the car and brave the more than 5 car jam to the Istana for some religious ceremony in order to get $5 per kid.
53.You consider taking out a maximum loan to extend your house (leaving no space for drains on your land) just cos the neighbours are renovating too.
54.You will spend thousands on car modifications but will hang around curbs/ roadsides with friends cos got no money to pay for coffee at Coffezone or Coffeebean.
55.You ride a Harley with a bunch of friends & park in front of Coffeezone/Coffeebean but only order latte or coke & think its still macho.
56.The 26th of each month is the only time you dare to buy more than $2 worth of gas cos you need to go cruising aimlessly around Gadong (a major hang-out place for Bruneians) after grocery shopping.
57.People ask where you're from and the easiest explanation is saying that it's next to Singapore.
58.People are still clueless about where Brunei is and then you mention how the Sultan of Brunei was once the richest man in the world and everyone instantly remembers.
59.You either hang out in Coffee Zone or Coffee Bean or have children that do.
60.Your closet is full of designer gear but all you wear is the same old t-shirt, shorts and 'selipar jepun' that cost $2 from the 'kedai kaling' next door.
61.The typical male wears only Premier League team t-shirts, jeans, baseball caps & slippers as passable casual wear to pick up tudong-ed chicks in.
62.You slow down to 10km/hr whenever a car breaks down is being towedaway / has an accident just to see if you know who the driver is & to get the number of the car to buy 4D later.
63.You take out a business loan to start a business but buy a brand new Lexus immediately (refer to point #36 on cash) with the loan & then start the sloppy business with the remainder of the money.
64.You do not know or have never spoken to 80% of the people you've invited to your wedding and who take the liberty to bring their 5.3 kids
65.4 generations stay in one house & there is 1.5 cars per person in the household who have a driving license
66.You think leaving work at 5:30pm is ridiculously late.
67.You don't bat en eyelid in any yoga class even though the instructor is referring directly from a book.
68.The local newspaper is still readable even though the front page always has some sort of story about illegal immigrants being caught for overstaying or soliciting as in point #31
You 'miss call' instead of calling or sending sms.
69.You always say "kapih ku.. bila terima/keluar gaji/overtime/elaun ah?"
70.You park your car as close as possible to your destination area.
71.You speak Malaysia if you meet Malaysian, speak Indonesia if you meet Indonesian.. and so on.
72.You are asked to go to a "meeting" but actually you will only be "listening".
73.You go to someone's wedding, you give money using an envelope and put your name on it or if you think you don't give enough you use a blank envelope.
74.Indo mee is your staple food and Ayamku is your fastfood.
75.The term 'balik kampung' is almost not applicable.. since you can 'balik kampung' everyday.
76.Motorcyles and bicycles are not your transport, they are your sport. When you see local tv camera around you during the day, then at night you will watch local news... and hoping to see yourself on television.
77.You drive your car on wavy and potholed road.
78.You receive official news faster by mean of "mouth" than by "written".
79.You like electronic products from Japan.
80.If you have the chance to call a radio show and before you are asked to hang-up, you say 'boleh minta putarkan lagu?'
81.You are in BIG debts and refuse to pay the lenders and yet still drive a CLK and live in a mansion.
82.You wear baju kurung with large katoks and maniks all over.
83.You are loud and speak in melandih way.
84.You and the whole family have the same car plate numbers.
85.You spend your $$$$$ on your wedding even though you are broke.
86.You become Akademi Fantasia fanatics.
87.You know most of the people here - "eh si anak si anu eh saudara si blabla".
88.You drive to the shop next door even though the shop is only 100 meters away (except maybe in Kampung Ayer). Every year, since the 80s until last year, you don't want not to miss HM's Birthday Titah (because you are hoping that HM will increase your salary).
89.When you want to get some service from the government agencies, you will find your saudara first.
90.If something goes wrong, you will say that one of the datos, pehins is your relative (or at least they know you).
91.You cannot live without Brudirect's HYS.
92.You give you children super long name.
93.You rush to a new shopping mall just to beat everybody else even though it's just another Hua Ho.
94.You wave your hand while driving to other drivers that you know.
95.You are able to pay (or not) for one or two amahs who are most likely an Indonesian or a Filipino.
96.You are ok to be fat.
97.You are a busy body with other peoples' news, especially the bad ones, and you think your responsibility is to know and to spread it around.
98.Your friends get married on the same day and you don't know who to go to.
99.You like to stare at phones for 24 hours and chat on MSN.
100.You say "Mun paham bisai" (this needs no further explaination) .
101.You have to wear 'cool' attire everywhere, even on holidays.
102.You add "BUI" on each sentence.
103You think exercising, being hyper active, competition are for little kids.
104.You can't type or spell properly properly, example "hw r u? hy my nme s si org brnui"
105.You add "me & you" on your converstations with your girl mates.
106.You listen to Pelangi FM.
107.You think fake Von Dutch products are the best.
108.You are especially racist to Indian workers.
109.You would rather go to shopping malls than hanging out at parks, having a picnic with your friends.
110.You have 'candas' in your house.
111.You read this blogsite because all your friends are reading it and you don't want to be left behind.
112.You rush to get a $99 handphone not caring about the limited features coz you think anything cheap is a bargain.
113.You have two handphones - one for DST and the other for BMobile (for one month and then switch off one or the other).
114.You always try to runding the policemen who caught you speeding.
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