Logieboi says it all...

There was a beer party going on in the woods when all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain. These two young guys ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, finally reaching their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other.All of a sudden an old man's face appeared on the passenger side and tapped lightly on the window. The passenger screamed out, "eeeeekkk! Look at my window!!! There's anold guy's face there!" (Was this a ghost?!?!?!?)"This old man kept knocking, so the driver said, "Well open the window a little and ask him what he wants!"So the passenger rolled his window down part way and said, scared out of his wits, "What do you want???"The old man softly replied, "You got any tobacco?"The passenger, terrified, looked at the driver and said, "He wants tobacco!""Well offer him a cigarette! HURRY!!" the driver replies.So he fumbles around with the pack and hands the old man a cigarette and yells, "Step on it!!!" rolling up the window in terror.Now going about 80 miles an hour, they calm down and they start laughing again, and the passenger says, "Dude! what doyou think of that?"The driver says, "Man, I don't know? How could that be? I'm going pretty fast?"Then all of a sudden AGAIN there is a knock on the window and there is the old man again. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaauggggg, there he is again!” the passenger yells.""Well see what he wants now!" yells back the driver.He rolls down the window a little ways and shakily says "Yes?""Do you have a light?" the old man quietly asks.The passenger throws a lighter out the window at him and rolls up the window then yells, "STEP ON IT!"They are now going about 100 miles an hour and still guzzling beer, trying to forget what they had just seen and heard, when all of a sudden, again there is MORE knocking!"Oh my God! HE'S BACK!" He rolls down the window and screams out, "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" in stark fear.The old man gently replies, "You want some help getting out of this mud?"

One day a little girl came running into her house wrote:
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!" The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''

In prison you spend a majority of your time in an 8x10 cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6x8 cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
At work you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you're just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own toilet.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you can't even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.
In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.
In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are sadistic wardens.
At work, we have managers.

so why go to work if prison is more nice...hahaha lolz


Bill and Bob, two children, were sitting outside a clinic. Bill happened to be crying very loudly."Why are you crying?" Bob asked."I came here for a blood test," sobbed Bill."So? Are you afraid?""No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.As Bob heard this, he immediately began crying profusely.Astonished, Bill stopped his tears and asked Bob, "Why are you crying now?"To which Bob replied, "I came for a urine test!"


A duck walks into a bar and asks:"Got any Bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, we have no bread."
Duck says: "Got any bread?"
Barman says: "
No, we haven't got any bread!"
Duck says: "
Got any bread?"
Barman says: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any bread, and if you ask me again and I'll nail your dang beak to the bar you irritating dang duck!"
Duck says: "Got any nails?"
Barman says: "No"
Duck says: "Got any bread?