Okays quick update...
DRUNK MAN
A man is out drinking at his neighborhood pub and realizes he needs to leave before his wife finds out.He gets up off the barstool and BOOM, falls to the floor.
He tries to pull himself up but falls down again.
He thinks to himself, "if I can just crawl over to the door and get some fresh air, I can gather myself and walk home."
He crawls over to the door, tries to pull himself up and take a step and BOOM, falls to the floor again.
He thinks to himself, "wow, I must be drunker then I thought!" But he knows that he can't call the wife because he would just be in trouble.
He proceeds to crawl all the way home, crawl up the stairs, and pull himself quietly into the bed. He thinks to himself, "cool, I didn't get caught."
The next morning, he wakes and sees his wife glaring at him.
She says, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE OUT DRINKING AGAIN!!"
He asks how she knows??
She says, "the Bartender called, you left your wheelchair there again!"
SCIENTIST
A scientist is testing how far a frog can jump.
He places the frog down and yells, "JUMP!"
The frog jumps 12 feet.
Then the scientist cuts off one of the frog's legs and runs the test again.
"JUMP!"
The frog jumps 6 feet.
He cuts off the second leg, places the frog down and yells, "JUMP!"
The frog goes nowhere.
Conclusion: when both of frog's legs are cut off, frog cannot hear.
THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS
This is the song that never ends,
It goes on and on, my friends.
People started singing it, not knowing what it was,
And people kept singing it forever just because...
and it goes on and on to infinity....and beyond...
